incentive salience, a system of motivation to run wild
perhaps distance is protection, a way of dealing with threats of all kinds, actual or imagined. reduction
continues with labels: i’m proud to say i am.
the city fades as murals beside playgrounds. i say, try to see the sky before you sleep—shooting stars will
never be predictable, thus always anticipated.
this should have been over long ago: the gray area is dangerous territory. in nature, all beautiful things are
poisonous or impractical.
deception comes in every form: bright toads and peacock feathers. certain actions you cannot undo. let us
decide against clipped desires, forced laughs.
mediocrity passes for enough. after youth, we realize simple happiness is all we’re going to get. settle for our
bodies, our hearts full of errors.
| O. Ayes |
|
levelheaded: incentive salience, a system of motivation to run wild
There are a couple moments smack in the middle of this poem that hint at this speaker’s all-or-nothing approach. The first is her idea that “shooting stars will / never be predictable, thus always anticipated.” Anticipation is a very particular extension of unpredictability. It makes sense that shooting stars could leave someone in a constant state of anticipation, but only if that someone really likes shooting stars. It’s also worth noting the absolute quality of “never” and “always.” The second is her assertion that “in nature, all beautiful things are / poisonous or impractical.” The speaker associates beauty with things that are dangerous or have no use. Again, this is a very particular definition of beauty. No doubt “bright toads and peacock feathers” are beautiful, but surely some folks find beauty in practicality, even the practicality of aposematic coloration. Perhaps it is the absolutist “all” that stands out here.
So why are these pseudo-truisms important to understanding this poem? As we’ve said, they give us an idea of who this speaker is, especially her tendency to make sweeping statements. More importantly, “shooting stars” and “beautiful things” are very the saliences mentioned in the poem’s title – they are the speaker’s “motivation to run wild.” All this beauty, temporariness, and danger guide the speaker to a central plea: “let us / decide against clipped desires, forced laughs.”
But the poem’s message isn’t just “be free, be true.” That message – a simple message – is threaded through something more complex. This is a speaker who is both hesitant to commit to running wild and unsure that this kind of freedom is an ingredient in her happiness. This is a speaker who doesn’t say what she means. The first line of the poem, “perhaps distance is protection,” explicitly announces her “way of dealing.” It’s referred to implicitly moments later in the highly self-conscious “i’m proud to say i am.” In that last example, the speaker is both proud to say she is proud, and proud to say she exists. She keeps her distance by not committing to her sentence. And in the end, when we think we’re nearing a conclusion about escaping from that very “gray area,” the speaker shifts dramatically. She resigns herself to “mediocrity.” She clips her own desires for a heart “full of errors.” She trades her “motivation to run wild” for “simple happiness” that doesn’t feel exactly simple or happy.
-The Editors
